It was tragic, it was life changing, it was earth shaking. Those are just a few words to describe something that shakes up your world and changes who you are at your core. However, those events don’t just go away from your memory. If anything, they stick there and hang out in your subconscious and cause havoc on your life, year after year after year. These are called “history of events” in the therapeutic world, and they can play out in ways you couldn’t even imagine.
If you notice that someone you love continues to behave oddly or get physically ill around the same time each year, it may help for you to ask if something happened to them and when. This can help them pin point their own mental blocks and take new steps to hop over them into a more healthier mindset. Hopefully, this will also help you have more patience with the ones you love and try to understand their mental breakdown with a more open heart.
Everyone can’t just “get over” stuff, and sometimes it can get down right irritating to figure out why someone is acting out a certain way or getting sick when there is environmentally no reason for it. Sometimes you have to be a detective with the ones you love, and ask questions that aren’t so easy to ask. Questions like, “I noticed that every year around this time you tend to get really sick and I wanted to know did something happen to you a few around this time in the past?” That is a great way to show that you care and genuinely want to know what is triggering this person to go downhill.
Everything can’t be blamed on PMS or bad work days, sometimes it’s much bigger than that and if you care or love the people you are connected to, sometimes you just have to ask questions to understand them.
Ask Emma J. 